Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
