omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
