So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
