How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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