Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
