I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
