I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
