She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
