The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
