Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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