Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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