Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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