I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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