dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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