I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
