I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
