My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
