On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
