I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
