let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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