so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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