Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize