If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize