like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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