yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
