i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
