so that wasnt chicken after all
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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