dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
