Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
