Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
