As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
