you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
