End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
