woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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