its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize