next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
