youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
