One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
where does the pee come out of this thing
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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