I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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