My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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