You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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