you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize