i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
