we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it's like heaven, but drunker
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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