I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
