i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
