Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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