I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
