Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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