and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
