I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
