I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
