ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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