I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
