it hurts more in the daytime
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
