:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
