im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
