So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
two words: eviction party
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
