Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
