Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
